June 27, 2015

Homespun


Homespun

Of all the things that are made at homes- cakes, woollens, linens, music, pickles, pakodas, blogs, sweets, paper fans, and generosities, Mr. Jhunjhunwaala specialized in toys. He believed that the contention between the industry and the household, or, simply put, between the factory and the house can never be justified for the simple truth that the house houses families whereas factories are only concrete buttresses. The familial emotions are so much more subtle and untouchable compared to the clogged formality floating in warehouses.
He made toys not for a living. He made them for his closet. His unique closet faced the outside world, propped up in the porch, fronting the house, and displaying its characters. The bearded ape sat atop, his arms dancing over his head, and his teeth screeching at detractors. The puny weasel caught in the act of sneezing, the mouse sniffing at a ball of cotton, the couple in eternal embrace, the clockwork clown slapping his dish-like palms, and the astronaut waving off to his family before heading into oblivion were his other pieces of imagination turned palpable by his expertise. They were plucked from the newspapers, the gossips of strangers, the scenes happening in the street and from the flashes of uncalled for memories before being turned into solid masses.       
Mr. Jhunjhunwaala would dust his old collections every morning before beginning. Then he would collect his equipment and take his seat in the porch to begin the day’s work. His radio, that had recently replaced his worn out gramophone, buzzed in the distance, but Mr. Jhunjhunwaala was content with only the sound of it. He would rarely lend any attention to what was being said or played, but if anyone turned off the sound, his eyes would snap instantly at the intrusion.
He would always be mystified with the amount of thought he put behind each character, lending it even the tiniest trait after much consideration. He liked to build his closet members carefully, lest he should forget any detail of any of his occupants. He liked them in full measure, looking out of his closet, intent, and to his mind, glorified.
                                                                                                            *

He ran his fingers, tracing a curve in the pattern of his coconut oiled, tightly shaped, trimmed and sleek hair. He was acutely aware of the brushing of his freshly trimmed finger nails digging into his matted hair, and felt a certain repulsion at the feel of his skull standing guard against his fingertips, almost reproachfully.
As he admired himself before his mirror image, it passed for a moment in his mind that he looked, or rather, could have looked so much more pleasing, like all the other boys in Modern High School, and could have bettered each of them with his gleaming, watery eyes and perfect light-coloured skin. Instead, here he was looking at a mediocre, incorrigibly plain- another lad from another street come with his satchel strapped and bottle slung.
His school uniform looked as if each inch of it had been pasted on him, disgustingly neat and orderly even after recess. His tie was tugging at itself, trying its mightiest to somehow smother him. He tilted his head at the undone collar button, bashfully crouching beneath the double knot, held in its place by the exertions of the tie. It was his daily ritual to unfasten it after having escaped the jurisdiction of his fastidious mother.
He was not going to stand it.
The shining black of his shoe seemed to be a constant reminder of his subservience. Each time he bent over to pick something from the floor, or looked down submissively at the incessant ranting of his teachers, his view invariably fell on the symmetrical architecture of the perfectly aligned buttons, tie and his deep grey trousers, on the dove-like white of his socks peeping out- contrasted against the sheen of his black shoes- and, he imagined, screaming to the passers-by, announcing his imprisonment.
In many ways Manas was a prisoner too.
He brushed his hand roughly over his head, messing his hair. Displaced momentarily, his silk-like hair fell back to their accustomed place, like a swarm of flies converging back on the dung after a temporary disturbance. His stubborn nature was insidious, he decided, and it was commandeering his physical faculties too. Wetting his palms, he ransacked through his hair with both hands, his face convulsed under the surging resentment. At the end of the pillaging, he looked like the Manas who has just woken up in the morning, sleepy-eyed and dishevelled hair. That brought a smile to his lips. He loved the untouched natural Manas, before he was smeared by the pin-point precision of his mother’s practised hand. He began to hum his usual Raghu Dixit’s tune Hey Bhagwaan asking the lord to give him an option of restarting his life.
He wanted to be the raw Manas once again, the Manas standing at square one holding his head aloft, his watery eyes looking into the distance, proud of his impressionable mind, boasting of the voluminous receptivity of his being, wondering amusingly at the depth inside.


After days of goading, his mother, Mrs. Dutta, finally agreed to take him to the local fair with its thrilling rides.
Mrs. Dutta was a woman who carried herself haughtily. She enjoyed being indifferent- ignoring things, happenings and people around her, things that usually succeeded in drawing attention.
She liked to act a woman of business.
A woman of business, to her, remains prim and proper, and does the sort of things that is meticulously and, often arduously, accurate. She, being one, observed all the rules stringently. She carried bundles of notes of all denominations in her purple handbag so that she could produce exact amounts to the rickshaw-puller, the grocer and the doctor. She walked all the way to the milkman’s cowshed every morning and stood over the poor puny man as he milked his cow, overlooking acrimoniously with her eyebrows drawn in an unforgiving glare to make sure that not a droplet of water entered the utensil. She would always keep her kitchen adequately stocked. Nothing ever was wasted or wanted under her charge.
Unfortunately for Manas, his mother applied the same formula on him. His timetable was so crafted that after school he would only be able to catch his breath before being whisked away in his three-quarter jeans to his tuition classes. His health, his diet was paid such great attention that he had never tasted the toothsome food served in the plazas. Though he seldom fell ill, Manas could never recover from the heartache he suffered because of the excessive infringement in his personal space.
Manas had lesser friends than he had fingers. Once, when a kid in the neighbourhood tried to befriend him by inviting him to play a board game, it was his mother who saw to it that their friendship did not last long.
To her, Manas having too many friends would mean Manas wasting too much time. He was destined to follow his father, in becoming an economist, and she would not let any other interest or potential lead him astray. They were killed in their infancy. “You are a responsible child, Manas,” she used to say, “You know what is right and what is wrong.”
Her son’s new neighbourhood friend, the eccentric Mr. Jhunjhunwaala’s nephew, triggered a beacon of alarm in her mind. Manas was crossing deadlines in his timetable, appearing late for lunch, disappearing at bed time only to be found playing crossword with his new found friend. As a result, his mother initiated a fresh propaganda. Whenever the poor boy would come calling for Manas, she at once denied that Manas was in the house at all, sometimes even when a morose Manas was visible in the background. She increased the study hours in his schedule and forbade him to leave the house after tuition hours. His friend began to lose interest in the neighbourhood kid who always seemed to be hiding behind his mother’s skirt. There was nothing Manas could do about it.
An alarming fact had taken root in his mind. He considered himself to be more vulnerable than any of his companions in school, susceptible to the invisible trappings of the world. That was why, he explained to himself, his mother had to take such precautions.
Sometimes, when Manas saw kids of his age acting unruly, getting expelled or faring poorly in studies, he would feel an infinite sense of security in his mind. He knew, under his mother’s watchful presence, he would never experience such a fate. It was these singular moments that always restored his faith in his mother’s idiosyncrasies.
He was like a bee shut in a shell, safe, aptly fed and unharmed, but without the ability to draw nectar from his life.
Manas had been wanting to visit the fair for a long time. However, his mother’s tight timetable didn’t allow her the space for such excursions, and there was no way Manas could go to the fair on his own.
 When finally his mother agreed to squeeze out time for the trip, Manas was overjoyed. He jumped and frolicked as he waited beside the motor car for his mother to descend from the house. Mr. Jhunjhunwaala peered at him from his perch across the street, and called out, “What’s the occasion?” “Hello, Mr. Jhunjhunwaala, it’s a family excursion to the local fair, a rare outing!” Mr. Jhunjhunwaala smiled inwardly and nodded almost imperceptibly before returning his gaze to the half-finished train engine.
Manas remembered the last time he had been into the house across the street.
Mrs. Dutta and Mr. Jhunjhunwaala had not spoken to each other after that incident. Manas had been playing with Mr. Jhunjhunwaala’s nephew in the anteroom towards the back of the house. Mrs. Dutta, on finding her son absent at the dinner table, barged into his house and barked at Manas to appear for dinner at once. Being submissive by nature, Manas quietly consented and left the game. As they reached the porch, Mr. Jhunjhunwaala accosted Mrs. Dutta. He was carrying a packet of pastries he had just brought from the local bakery meaning to have a little snack with Manas and his nephew. He politely asked Mrs. Dutta, “What is the hurry? Come and join us for a little snack,” he offered. The ruckus that Mrs. Dutta created consequently and the protests uttered out by Mr. Jhunjhunwaala earned the time for Manas to loiter a little longer in the porch. He turned a deaf ear to the furore and patiently observed the various toys neatly arranged in the closet. He was particularly amused by the sneezing weasel, and he stared at it with his nose against the glass oblivious to the raised voices parrying somewhere.
On that very moment, in the sheltered front of the house, the moment lingered a little longer than any moment usually does. With the elderly pair arguing and the innocent boy lost in his own thoughts, everything seemed slowed down; stretched. For an unknown observer, it might have seemed that the roles of Mr. Jhunjhunwaala and Mrs. Dutta merged into each other, while Manas and the toys were, somehow, fused. It was as if there were two entities, not four, each lost in his own distractions, connected to each other by a very thin and delicate string, and as if no other existence mattered.
The entrance to the fair was littered with small bits of yellow and pink coloured printed papers. Three to four persons flanked the gates, checking the tickets of the queued people and tearing the coloured tickets in two halves, letting their half fall on the ground and get swept by the blowing wind. The fair had about nine to ten rides, about four of them for children and the rest for adults who screamed with every dipping motion of the ride, taking the thrill of the fifty rupees that they feel are spent well. A milling crowd floated almost motionlessly in and out. Numerous people thronged the tents selling all types of products, children’s stuffed toys, machines and equipment that make cooking and washing easier, snacks counters and one large bookstore that smelt of sweat and books and was filled with people, all with their noses inside large and small volumes but rarely any meaning to buy anything.        
Manas clutched to his mother’s hand desperately as he manoeuvred his way past the sea of legs around him.  It took a great effort to prise spaces between onrushing people, especially because he could not be seen by virtue of his small height in this rising mass of people. Occasionally, he caught glimpses of vendors selling candy or ice-cream or balloons to children who were either demanding such things quite audibly or were fighting amongst each other to get the biggest portion. No matter how much he wanted any of those, he didn’t have the heart to ask for it. His mother would curtly deny him and continue in her portly way.
His mother tugged sharply at his arm as she turned right and he lost his grasp. At once, lines of people plugged the gap between them. Manas looked up at the faces swarming by, trying to push his way through in the general direction of his mother. Despite the uneasiness of it, Manas was not alarmed, he knew his mother wouldn’t let him get lost. Surely enough, a hand came out of nowhere and snatched his tiny frame from where he stood. The next second, his mother shoved an ice-cream cone in his hand and continued her march. Manas followed delightedly.
First, they came upon a ride named Tora-tora, where a giant spinning cylindrical tube went up and down a horse-shoe shaped platform, with people strapped to their seats on both ends of the tube. Manas experienced goose bumps merely by the sight of it.
He, of course, had to ride alone. As he joined the queue waiting to get on the ride, he noticed three children, two boys and a girl, all about his age a few paces in front of him, giggling away. They jumped up and down, trying to get a glimpse of the length of the queue in front of them, pulling each other down in the process, tugging at strangers. They were chattering excitedly, discussing what seat they would prefer and who was the boldest among them all.
Despite all their claims regarding their boldness, when the moment arrived, all three of them simultaneously scampered to occupy the seat that they felt was safest and least bumpy. They kicked their legs in the air impatiently, exchanging wide smiles and glittering eyes.
As he enjoyed the thrill of the ride, Manas couldn’t help listening to the fun that those bunch of kids were having. Exhilarated, the three of them hopped off quickly, eager for more. Manas scuttled after them.
He half-dragged his mother towards the ride those children were heading next to. It was the dancing car ride, named Break Dance. Bunches of four cars each were placed on a circle that rotated and caused the hinged cars to rotate in their turn, hence causing a double motion that used inertia and the centrifugal force to create odd turns and emphatic pauses.
Seeing him sitting alone, a stranger in a khaki cap and a broken toothed smile joined Manas in his car. Manas passed a reassuring smile to his mother who was standing- with an apathetic look on her face- apart from the crowd of cheering relatives and friends. If only he had somebody who enjoy alongside him, this trip to the fair could have been another matter entirely. He had to be content with his lot, so he trashed all his inhibitions and flailed his arms as they were thrown against each other in the messy affair of the ride.
When his car, in the process of its rotations and revolutions, came within earshot of his mother, he yelled to her to get him the ticket for the next ride. His unknown ride-mate passed a broken smile to him as they swirled around. He smiled back forcefully, hating the courtesies that were expected to be observed. He jumped off his car when the whirling ended and shot straight across to the next ride.
This was the giant wheel. One huge wheel with humungous spokes supported about twenty small four-seater cabins, open at the top. When the wheel would begin to turn, the large cabin and its occupants would keep climbing up until they would be minute to the eye. This was going to be the best. It was the hall mark ride of the fair. A ride that would be visible when one was still a good distance away from the fair, it announced the magnificence of it all, a symbol of family relaxation for the middle-income group of the town.
Manas was joined by an energetic man this time who, he later realised, was not another townsfolk come to relax but one of the operators of the ride, come to assist a small child in enjoying the ride. He was grateful and abashed at the same time. This time he passed a smile to his partner who acknowledged it with a thump on his shoulder. The operator tapped the seat of the cabin as a signal and the great wheel began to turn. As they climbed higher and higher, Manas tensed and clutched the seat tighter, looking straight ahead in his fear.
When they had spent a few moments in the air, Manas relaxed a little and looked down. The fair looked so small and condensed from the height, he wondered. His eyes fell on the great Tora-tora, now looking so puny and easy. It had lost its grandeur and its superiority. Manas felt as if, by climbing on the giant wheel, he had succeeded in winning the duel. The challenge was fulfilled, and now he had conquered all the great rides of the local fair, climbed on to the backs of the monsters one by one and hit them where it hurt most. Sadly, he had nobody but himself to whom he could boast of his achievements.
His eyes fell on the three children, some cabins to the left of Manas, who were hanging on to each other and to the cabin. Though they were sitting absolutely still, Manas knew they were having a great time. It could be seen from the grin on their faces and the alertness of their figures. It was finally proved by the incessant chit-chatting that ensued after the ride was over. They just couldn’t get over it. Manas searched for his mother and spotted her waiting for him away from the crowd gathered at the exit of the ride, her purple handbag on her shoulders and some coloured paper in her hand.   
The last ride for the day was the train that would take them through the haunted house, the Bhoot Bangla. Mrs. Dutta bought two tickets, one for herself. The way Manas had stepped back at the sight of the bleeding skull outside the entrance, Mrs. Dutta knew it wasn’t a good idea sending him in alone, especially because she wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on him from outside.   
The train had the capacity of two persons per chair car, with some eleven such cars attached one after the other. It was Mrs. Dutta who hurriedly entered first and elbowed the first car of the train for her son and herself. Manas followed hurriedly, trying to match pace with his mother’s outmatching speed.
He stopped at the fourth carriage of the train. This was occupied by two of those three children, with one of the boys sitting alone in the third car. Instinctively, Manas couldn’t get himself to walk past this empty seat. It beckoned to him, urging him to break free of the shackles and make his own decisions. The laughter of the three kids was too much for him to bear. Giving in seemed such an easy option, almost as instinctive as removing your hand from touching a hot object. The red space of three feet had such a magical effect on poor Manas that he stood there in a dazed sort of way, looking at the three children peculiarly. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he stepped one foot inside the carriage. At this, the three children turned towards him inquiringly. Manas stopped short.
He was looking for words to explain himself when his mother, now notified of his absence, turned to him, “Manas, over here, now.” Manas could not question the conclusiveness in her voice. He emerged from his bewilderment and retreated. He timidly obeyed the instructions relayed and joined his stoic mother at the front of the train, relieved.
He was pleased his mother had not noticed his unnatural behaviour. He was both angry and surprised by his stupidity. He shrugged off the guilt, and gripped the hand rest firmly, shutting out the distant pleas emanating from somewhere within him. He was a responsible child; he knew what was right and what was wrong.  
                                                                                                            *

Of all the things that are made at homes- cakes, woollens, linens, music, pickles, pakodas, blogs, sweets, paper fans, and generosities, Mr. Jhunjhunwaala and his neighbour Mrs. Dutta, specialized in toys.
          
    

      

December 26, 2013

The fare-collector

To Chetna, coz we don't turn eighteen everyday

THE FARE-COLLECTOR
Christmas Eve was a peaceful affair. In some well-lit homes, a nativity scene or two had been put up and some vestiges of Christmas were lingering around. In my part of the world, Christmas is often a silent business. Indian folk love Christmas no doubt, but my experience says they treat Christmas like a Sunday, to take a break, have a look around and partake their share of entertainment.
For me, Christmas is holy. It pleases me to sit alone on festive days like these, and ponder over the world. That’s my thing, thinking about the system, criticising it, appreciating it, wondering at it. It is joyful for us; this day, we exchange gifts and sweets and cookies and hugs and smiles, but for my neighbours- those who live in shabby gullible houses, with nothing but a thin tin layering between them and the sky- Christmas doesn’t exist. If they sell their farm produce, it’s Christmas for them, if they can’t, even Diwali is spent without the bliss and colours. It doesn’t matter to them if Jesus Christ was born in a manger; all they care about is how to sell their onions and potatoes.
Me, I am part of a family that earns a modest living, and has just more than sufficient- sufficient enough to know that there were three wise men from the East who came with gifts for baby Jesus. I study in a good school, wear clean clothes, eat healthy food, and I have no grudge against life.
I don’t know why but, on Christmas day this year, I consciously thanked each one responsible for me one by one. Mentally, I loaded them with as much gratitude as I could muster, firmly establishing that my mathematics tutor was indeed the best in the whole world and I was blessed to have someone like him in my life. This thanksgiving lasted a short while when the wall clock chimed.
It was time for the get-together. My friends had arranged one near Panitanki More to celebrate Christmas. I decided I would continue my musings during the bus ride to Panitanki.
I hopped on to a bus from Thana More and occupied a seat beside the window. A lady hurriedly came and sat down beside me, unloading all the bags she had been carrying.
The bus was full of passengers. It rumbled on towards my destination. I watched the figures- buildings and lamp-posts and shops and people and traffic- flit past the window.
The lady beside me was managing to grab my attention more than I liked, she couldn’t quite settle herself. Her bags around her feet were always rolling about and she was occupied in her frantic struggle to keep them all from running amok.
The fare-collector came down the bus collecting the money in his dirty yellow pouch. He was a queer figure. The first thing I noticed about him was that he was blind. He wore dark spectacles and was constantly looking at the roof of the bus. He felt his way about and managed not to stumble on anyone. He had grown a shabby beard and had a lean body. His fingers deftly went in and out of the pouch collecting the four rupees that was the fare from Thana More to Panitanki.
That triggered a train of thoughts in my mind. What was he, a blind man, doing on a city bus as a fare-collector? Didn’t this prove the depths of degradation man as a social animal had fallen to? I was reminded of Arun Kolatkar’s poem, The Old Woman, where the old woman went about begging the tourists. She had no other alternative. I felt this poor blind man was in a similar state, with no alternative, doing something he’d be far gladder to give up on the first chance. Pity seized my senses but I made no move.
Presently, the fare-collector came up close. I could see his face clearly. He was muttering something under his breath. He was too soft to be audible. I tried to read his lips and realised that he was repeating some numbers. In fact, it was the same number- three hundred something- he was repeating, I couldn’t catch it clearly. The way he thrust all the coins he received from the travellers into his pouch, anyone would think that he was afraid someone would snatch it from him if he kept it in his hand too long. Was money all that mattered in this world? The three wise men from the East made a mistake, then. They should have gifted baby Jesus money, in huge quantities, in all currencies, so that he could distribute it among the poor and do some good to the society. Yet, it was not so.
Here we are, I thought, celebrating Christmas while these poor men toil for money. It grieved my heart, the idea that there were people who didn’t have the luxury of a Christmas cake. We are blind to their needs, just like the fare-collector. I felt the poor man was an embodiment of human society, one individual that stood for the mentality and the attitude of the whole earth. The fare-collector was an apt reflection of us humans, blindly groping and shuffling money and thrusting it into our pouches. That’s all we do, by the looks of it.
The fare-collector was asking the lady beside me for her fare. “Four rupees,” he asked gruffly. The lady made a titanic effort to find her purse in the knee-deep clutter around her feet. I waited while she had fished out her purse for it was impossible for me to fish out my wallet while she was fishing for hers in that four feet of space we were sharing.
She flipped open her purse and two coins rolled out. There was one two-rupee coin and one one-rupee coin. She looked into her purse for more but found it empty. The easy manner in which she announced “Take these four rupees” and handed only three to the blind fare-collector struck me as the zenith of human decadence. The poor collector thrust the two coins into his pouch. Transaction closed.
Something overcame me, and it made me pay for the lady’s share of greed. I paid six rupees in three two-rupee coins to the fare-collector. The Indian one-rupee and two-rupee coins have not much uncommon between them. Though the five-rupee coin is thicker and can be recognised on being touched, it is nearly impossible to tell the difference between a one-rupee and a two-rupee coin.
In the same easy manner as the lady, I announced “Take these four rupees” and stretched my arm to give him the six.
The collector quickly slid two of the coins into his pouch and held out the third coin for me to take back. I hesitated. In this moment of hesitation, I sensed something pass the collector’s lips. They twitched.
 He knows.
 
I silently took my third coin back and put it into my shirt’s pocket. The collector passed our row and went on his way.
I was dumbstruck. The lady beside me seemed not to have noticed the little drama. It struck me that it was horribly wrong on the part of the fare-collector to quietly accept a rupee less from the lady when he knew that he was being cheated. Any sane human being in the world would not do so. This was absurd. This was out of the ordinary. This was not, so to say, human in nature. This bewilderment accompanied me the rest of my journey.
At Panitanki, I waited patiently while the other passengers got off. I didn’t want to be a part of the scuffle to get down. As I was about to descend, the blind fare-collector accosted me.
“Yes?” I asked him, my heart thumping in my chest. The person had a different aura about him.
“Three hundred and thirty-six. Three hundred and thirty-six. Three hundred and thirty-six.” He said it thrice. It was mystifying, as if he was trying to hypnotize me.
“What of that number?”
“I have been collecting fares for seventeen years now. Three hundred and thirty-six people have cheated me. You were the first one who deliberately tried to give me more. Thank you.” He said, turned away and walked off.
I stood there, absolutely perplexed.
The bus had started to move slowly. I jumped off on to the street in my trance. I watched the bus till it rounded the corner. The blind fare-collector had given me a new train of thought. Money wasn’t everything. How to act like a human being was.
I silently began my walk. The streets were suddenly very quiet.
In my part of the world, Christmas is a silent affair.      



October 14, 2013

The Joke

Friends, and innumerable associations,
Like to play silly pranks on you.
They pull your legs from under you
Have a good laugh about your fall,
And that’s about what it is all,
If then you stand, or lie in dust
Very few care for the crust
The crust that is left over, lost
Erased, effaced and away tossed.

Family, and innumerable associations,
Like to spend their best time with you,
But, agreeably, best for few
While most smile, joke and giggle loud
 Later name it a wasteful round
If then you smile, or cry alone
None care for the tried, tasted bone
Bone that is left over, having
Eaten the flesh with the dressing.

Strangers, innumerable associations,
Are impersonal, detached, cold
As if guarding tight some stronghold
Look under, around, over, through
But they’ll never look straight at you
Lest you ask a favour, or worse-
Pass a smile, at which their lips purse
Strongly refusing the smile back
Afraid you’ll harm, pinch, plunder, hack.


Life, and innumerable associations,
Is cruel, dark- an illusion
That makes you keep looking for fun
The climax comes when you’re quite near
When it is- click!- and game over.
If you’ve laughed or cried all your life
All is zilch- your worries, your strife.
Life’s the notes of the joke you blew-
 Just a silly prank played on you.

   
 

December 26, 2012

Tomboy and Jerrygirl third


TOMBOY AND JERRYGIRL
THIRD

The sun dipped into the western horizon. The clouds had lost their scarlet and were beginning to disperse. It would be a clear night. The birds and beasts were returning to their haunts. A low breeze was sweeping through the trees. The undergrowth lay as still as a rock at sea, the waves doing their best to beat at it, and possibly, trying to tear away the rock.
In the midst of this stillness, there came a low whispering from somewhere, the whispering of soft, soothing and well-meant words. Anyone hearing the whispering would feel the world was at ease, as if in the vast flow of the universe, there was no obstruction, no deviation, as if the leaves in the soft breeze that brought the words to the listener were an integral part of the world, without which the world would seem hollow and desolate. It seemed as if all elements of the universe were answering to a perfect harmony, tuned into perfect notes that were supple and pure.  
Those words, so faintly audible, would fill the hearts of a listener with compassion, joy and remorse, with love, patience and modesty; would fill him with all the tender feelings that exist. The whisperings seemed ceaseless, boundless, everyone who listened could hear it, wherever they might be.
Those words lifted the burden of sorrow, of anger, hatred and jealousy, all the hard feelings expressed so easily, from the world. Those softly spoken and silently heard expressions were all that mattered. They were the source of life, the bringer of sanctity. They were the pattern, rhythm and flow that wound through everyone’s lives and made them one. They were the single common factor residing in everyone. They were the reason behind the smiles of so many people. They were the secret of Merryland.   
This story is a piece from the history of Merryland. It relates to the time before the Brothers invaded Merryland, when Tomboy and Jerrygirl were alive.
In those days back then, when Tomboy was very young, Jerrygirl did not live in Merryland. She lived in a neighbouring country called ‘sow-sow Empire’. This story is about the union of Tomboy and Jerrygirl and how their friendship- one of the greatest and most-prized relations in the world- came about.
It was a dark day in ‘sow-sow Empire.’ The citizenry were tentative about coming out to the fields. The darkness was because of the low-hanging clouds. They covered every bit of the sky and thundered ominously. However, people did go to their fields, for in the ‘sow-sow Empire’, nothing mattered as much as farming. The whole population had taken to farming. All animals were domesticated and used in different farming techniques. There was only one biannual festival in this empire- The Harvest Festival. Everything that happened in every town had something to do with the growing of crops. Crops were worshipped, crops were eaten, crops were used as fuel, and crops were worn. If you stopped a cart on its way, it would either be carrying harvested grain or seeds. Since the crops were at peace, everyone was at peace. Only the king was not at peace. There was one thing that gnawed away at the King’s peace. That was why he used to pace the long lawns between his rice fields all day long plucking at his long beard.
Indeed, it was a dark day in ‘sow-sow Empire.’ Jerrygirl, with her curly black locks, her dark visage and muscular but soft arms, moved towards her fields. For once, she looked up and saw the rumbling black clouds, thick and sturdy. She saw the long path that lay before her and she was overcome with fatigue. It would be just another long day of tilling and ploughing the land, a long and wet day. She dragged her feet as she moved unwillingly, almost forcibly. The pebbles flew in different directions as she kicked them.
Jerrygirl had no family. She was utterly alone. She led a solitary life, ate alone, slept alone and worked alone. Perhaps that was the reason why most of her farmer neighbours tried to keep her company all the while. She admired their efforts, but she knew deep down in her heart that it was all just a formality. For the sake of display, she, too, put on a gratifying appearance.                
The rain came down in pellets. Jerrygirl let out a deep groan. She hated getting wet. Though she knew it was not acceptable, she quickly took shelter in a horse’s stable. She was already wet by the time she reached the shelter. Shivering, she sat down against a wall of the stable. She made sure she was well-concealed from the road. If anyone passing noticed her, it would cause her much embarrassment and she would have to proceed towards her fields.
The sound of horses’ hooves was louder than the rain. Jerrygirl crept inside the stable. She didn’t want to plough. She was not meant to be a farm hand.
“Looks like someone is skipping her duty,” said a voice without. Jerrygirl couldn’t see the speaker. She didn’t recognize his voice. “Can I join you? It is raining really hard,” the voice said over the sound of the rain. Jerrygirl saw him now. He was peeping through a hole. Jerrygirl nodded.
The horse came in first. Jerrygirl noticed at once that the beast was not from sow-sow Empire. None of the horses there was dressed in that fashion. An alien, Jerrygirl thought. Then entered the boy, he was tall, fairly well-dressed and had a smile on his face. “Hello, I am Tomboy. I’m from Merryland.” “I’m Jerrygirl,” she replied. There was a small pause. “From?” he asked, unsaddling his horse. “Sow-sow Empire,” she said. Tomboy paused and glanced behind at Jerrygirl, “And I thought everybody here worshipped land. You should be in your fields. What are you doing here?”
“None of your business. What are you doing here?” she retorted.
“I’m here to meet the king,” he replied, still smiling. He resumed his task of unsaddling the horse while Jerrygirl began to twine hay around her wrist. He patted his horse’s neck and made it to sit, and asked, “Don’t you know you could be punished for neglecting your duty?” “I don’t like farming. I’m not meant for it,” she replied. “People around here are not meant to say that,” he stated. He rubbed the horse’s nose and began stretching down himself.
“I thought you were here to meet the king,” Jerrygirl said sarcastically. “So I am. Only the King is busy in his fields at the moment,” he said, using the horse as a cushion to his back. “So, what do you like besides not farming?” he asked. “I like horses,” she replied. “I don’t own one,” she explained. “That’s sad, they are lovely creatures,” Tomboy said. “I like them more for what they signify,” she said, as if in a dream. Tomboy was suddenly interested. He sat up and asked eagerly, “What do they signify?”
 “Freedom.”
The clouds split up and sunlight poured in. It was time for a shift. People would now be returning to their homes for some rest. Jerrygirl still sat fitfully in the stable. Tomboy was gone. Oh, what a life I have got! I wish my parents were alive! Jerrygirl screamed in her mind. Thinking about her parents, she began to sob. Tears came down one by one and she didn’t care to wipe them. She was all alone in this stable. She was all alone in sow-sow Empire. She was all alone with all the people in the world. She twisted the hay around her wrist until her blood stopped flowing. She was now crying aloud. She heard someone scraping the straw away in front of her. She looked up. In a vague and blurry glance through her watery eyes, she could make out the image of a person whom she took to be Tomboy.
“Hey, you are back, Tomboy.”
“No, but you are going to meet him soon. The King has summoned you to his palace,” said the blurred person.
This somehow didn’t make sense to Jerrygirl. “The king has sent for me? Why?” she asked. “I think it is the doing of Tomboy,” the person replied.
A repulsive feeling surged into Jerrygirl. She had thought Tomboy was a friend. As this news cleared her mind, Jerrygirl could suddenly see more clearly. “You are... the King’s very own... messenger,” she muttered. I am in for big trouble, she told herself. “Can I ride with you? I don’t have a horse.”
The messenger nodded.       
It was the first time that Jerrygirl was riding with a male. The messenger was looking the sort of a person who goes about his business hour after hour. What a waste of a horse, Jerrygirl thought. The messenger was in his golden robe, wearing a red cape and black head gear. Jerrygirl hadn’t ever seen such attire so closely. All she had seen was the ragged clothing of the common people. What a waste of a robe, she thought. Jerrygirl was soon tired of the ride. The horse kept on trotting at one pace showing no intention of speeding up. The messenger didn’t even spur the horse to go faster. Besides, he was absolutely silent all through the journey, answering only with a nod to Jerrygirl’s questions. What a waste of a messenger, she thought.
The messenger dropped her before the palace and disappeared inside. A little while later, the king’s chamber opened and a pair of feet came outside. “I tripped, fell and hurt myself. I twisted an ankle and saw”- Jerrygirl halted abruptly. The King’s chamber had opened all right but it wasn’t- as Jerrygirl had anticipated- the King who stepped out. It was Tomboy. “You!” she exclaimed. Tomboy gave a slight bow approvingly. “I took you to be a friend!” she snapped. “It is okay, Jerrygirl. You aren’t all that wrong. Follow me.” Tomboy started towards the exit of the castle. “But the King wants to see me,” Jerrygirl said. “Oh no! It was I who sent for you. I have talked to the King and we have both agreed that you should come and live in Merryland henceforth,” Tomboy said casually.
“You didn’t”-
“Yes I did.”
“It means that I am granted freedom?”
“Yes, in Merryland.”
Who didn’t want to go to Merryland, the land where everyone was happy? Jerrygirl was thrilled to hear the news. It was the most that one could desire in a lifetime. She was suddenly struck with the enormity of it all. The very ambassador of Merryland had pleaded for her freedom. She didn’t realise when she had started whistling with joy.
“Here is your freedom,” said Tomboy leading a huge white male horse towards Jerrygirl. Jerrygirl screamed in delight and sprang onto the horse. “Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!” Jerrygirl started crying in joy. Tears ran down her cheek for the second time that day. “What happened to, I took you to be a friend?” asked Tomboy, playfully. But Jerrygirl had taken off. She had never ridden a horse alone. She rode like the wind, swift and smooth.
By the time they were entering Merryland, the sun had touched the horizon. Jerrygirl was overjoyed to see the splendid palace. It was a half-circle in shape and mammoth in size. For once, she closed her eyes and let the last of the sun’s rays fade away from her face; for once she let the soft breeze blow against her locks and disperse them; for once she let the horse find its own way and enjoyed the feelimg of sitting on its back which was so alive, so throbbing with life. The energy seemed to be radiating out of everything, reflecting upon everything. She felt a thrill like never before. She felt she could never be sad again.
As she was feeling so many emotions at once, suddenly the memory of her parents surged up before her. However, and astonishingly, she did not feel sad. Instead, she relished the memory and when she had had the full effect of it, she let it go very gently as a dew drop falls from a sharp leaf.
She was swaying in her elation, when Tomboy abruptly spoke, “We are here! How do you feel?” Jerrygirl realized she had kept her eyes closed since the time they entered into Merryland. She now opened them slowly, ready to see the Land of the Smiling Faces.
The world stood still. Tomboy was immovable. Even Jerrygirl stood rooted to the spot as if held back by some charm. They were standing on the edge of a grove and looking out towards the sea. The waves routinely came and pecked at the shore. Occasionally, a sea-bird could be seen flying low over the waters. The waters stretched into the horizon and touched the starry sky. The moon had just risen over the waters. The water was clear enough to reflect the moon. It seemed as if someone had painted an exact copy of the moon on the gentle waters. The sands lay still as if in wait for something to happen. Or perhaps they were sleeping, the kind of sleep only a contented person can afford. Jerrygirl felt she was a part of this picturesque scene. She could not separate herself or Tomboy from what she saw. This scene defined them- pure beauty and refined bliss.
By and by, Jerrygirl realized that someone was trying to speak to her in whispers. She was perplexed because Tomboy clearly wasn’t the speaker and there was nobody else with them. “Uh, who is it?” she whispered back into the air. She could not understand the reply. It was vague and soft. “Please be louder,” Jerrygirl asked. She felt the urge to know what the whispers were speaking. The whispers died away. The soft sound of the waves returned. “What just happened?” Jerrygirl asked Tomboy. “Listen harder,” Tomboy whispered back. Jerrygirl questioned “Can you also-” Tomboy nodded.
Jerrygirl followed Tomboy’s lead and closed her eyes. This time she listened hard, obliterating all other thoughts that came to her mind. She longed for those soul-fulfilling whispers to come back to her. She pleaded in her mind to the magical soul who emitted those whispers. She could still hear the noise made by the waves. She wanted to wipe everything out but the whispers. Then she heard them again- the softly-spoken words of wisdom that filled the hollow in everyone’s soul. This time she let the whispers take control of her. She let go of everything, and sailed with the flow of the words. The whispers told her so much. She never knew that there was such power in the world. All she had ever known was sorrow and toil. She was now so connected to the world that she understood the reason behind everything that happened. Now she realized why the world was created, why there were people, mountains, rivers and deserts. Now she came to know the true meaning of the world.
Jerrygirl felt lightened. It seemed as if all her cares in the world had suddenly vanished. Her fields in sow-sow Empire that were her sole means of sustenance suddenly held no value. She was now free as a horse, to go anywhere it liked. She knew no sorrow, no feeling of vengeance, and no despair. All she knew was that she was in the world to live her life to the fullest and to spread the joy to everyone.         
She felt she was one of the people of Merryland, vibrating with energy. She could feel the chain of energy that wound through everyone and made them one.
Jerrygirl opened her eyes, a wide smile on her lips. Her eyes had gained a new sparkle and her skin was alive with life. She looked at Tomboy and shouted out with all her joy, “Thank you, Merryland!”
“She cannot be trusted. She is an outsider. How do you know she will not spill the beans?”
“Oh, c’mon! I thought the secret was for everyone. Remember what you used to say? Anyone who listens can hear it.”
“I meant it in another way. This is different. A total alien has come to know about our secret. We had kept it so well-guarded and now-”
“You said they were meant for the right people!”
Tomboy and Godcent were in the midst of a heated discussion in Godcent’s chamber.
“Yes, but we cannot be sure that this girl is the right person. You only knew her for one day,” Godcent replied calmly.
“I think you are too afraid of our secret now. What can the enemy do even if Jerrygirl tells them?” Tomboy demanded.
“You know very well that our country is not at all guarded. What if the enemy, thinking that our secret can only be heard in Merryland, decides to attack us? We will have to cower before them,” Godcent said, not losing his composure.
“I know Jerrygirl will never do-”
“For all that we know, Jerrygirl could very well be on her way to sow-sow Empire right now.”
Tomboy shook his head. “I am afraid you are thinking too much and realizing too little,” he said.
The King seemingly took slight offence at the remark but he hid it very well.
“All right, do as you wish. But keep an eye on that girl.”
Jerrygirl, a spy? Impossible! Tomboy mused. I can’t believe that the King can even think of something like that. So thinking, Tomboy moved towards his house which was adjacent to Jerrygirl’s house. Before he stepped inside, something told him he should go and have a peep inside Jerrygirl’s room just to make sure that she was there. I will prove that the King is wrong. Jerrygirl will be sleeping and there will be no harm, he thought, advancing towards Jerrygirl’s house. But when he stepped on Jerrygirl’s threshold, he stopped. What am I doing? He asked himself. Someone who knows the secret of Merryland cannot betray it because he will be above the wrong feelings that exist. How can I forget that Jerrygirl cannot betray our secret unless she thinks the betrayal will do good? Tomboy retraced his steps. I know Jerrygirl doesn’t find anything good in giving away the secret to sow-sow Empire. Tomboy concluded.
Early next morning, Tomboy was woken up by the sound of scurrying feet outside the window. He wondered what had happened so early in the morning. He got up and went outside to see people running helter-skelter. He stopped a short and timid person and asked him, “What is the chaos all about?” “We are at war with sow-sow Empire, Tomboy! Nothing can save us!” he screamed fervently and went his way. What? Tomboy’s jaw dropped. He sprinted towards Jerrygirl’s house and found it empty. Oh no! The secret! I have plunged my own country into war!
Tomboy rushed to his horse, woke the beast from its slumber and galloped towards the King’s palace. There, he found that the people were garnering as many weapons as possible. “Tomboy, it’s great to see you! The King has ordered that we get ready in case the enemy attacks us!” said a lady. “Where is the enemy?” he asked. “Just outside our southern borders. They demand to see the King at once.”
“And where is he?” Tomboy asked, horrified.
“On his way to meet the enemy.”
“Alone?” Tomboy demanded.
“Mm-hmm” the lady nodded. “He went alone and asked us to get ready in the meantime.”
Tomboy turned his horse round and headed south.     
Tomboy did not pause or hesitate on seeing the enemy’s camp. He went straight for the entrance. “Halt there! Who are you?” the guard hailed him. “I am Tomboy, a messenger from Merryland. I have a message for my King,” Tomboy replied. “He is busy in conversation with our King at the moment. I am afraid you will have to wait,” the guard said.
“I am afraid I can’t!” Tomboy said.
“No, boy, have some manners and be patient,” the guard said shrugging his shoulders.
“Look, do you want a war?” Tomboy asked.
“No, but who doesn’t want to win over the great Merryland? Besides, why do you speak? It was you who abducted Jerrygirl from our country. All this turmoil was caused by you!” The guard retorted, enraged.
“Yes, I did so, but where is she now?” Tomboy asked.
 “Why, you still have her, don’t you? Or have you scalped her already?” the guard asked.
Tomboy was astonished. So, Jerrygirl was still in Merryland. Her absence from sow-sow Empire had brought the King here. But what was so special about her that her absence dragged the whole army out here?
“I have sent a man to the King. Let him return and I will grant you entrance.”
The man came and whispered to the guard. “All right, the King says you can go in.”
Tomboy entered the chamber hastily. Godcent was sitting in a matter-of-fact way and the King of sow-sow Empire was plucking at his beard. “Tomboy!” the Emperor exclaimed. “Pray have a seat,” the host offered. Tomboy sat down beside Godcent. He passed a questioning look at Godcent. Godcent only smiled. “Can we begin from the start, please?” the Emperor asked him.
“Very gladly, sir.” Tomboy replied. “The day I was sent to you, sir- with the royal message that needs no mention here- I met Jerrygirl. As you might very well remember, it rained considerable that day. I found her in a stable beside the road. As it is not usual to see a person from sow-sow Empire shirking duty, I naturally began questioning her and we entered into a conversation. As I remember, she was quite guarded at first and didn’t want me to intrude in her privacy. However, as I was about to leave, she told me something that made a very deep impression on me.” Tomboy shifted in his seat and continued, “She told me that what she loved most were horses because horses signify freedom. Throughout my journey to your palace, I kept musing at the absurdity of it all. Here was a person from sow-sow Empire, who was fed up of farming. I came to the conclusion that this was a singular person, and so out of place. I don’t know why, but I took it upon me to find her the right place, Merryland.”
“You could have talked to me about it. Why did you take her away so stealthily?” the Emperor asked.
“That day you didn’t have a good disposition. I thought it would do no good to talk about so small a matter when you had so many other things occupying your mind.”
The Emperor shook his head and asked “You went wrong right there, my friend. Do you want to know what was and has been occupying my mind for a very long time?”
“Yes, indeed,” said Tomboy.
“Jerrygirl, she has been occupying my mind of late. I had come to know about her unnatural behaviour a long time ago. It was then that it struck me that we were about to see an evolution in the mindset of my people. I realized that, slowly, all the traditions would die away and the people would once again be free to do whatever they liked. This idea appealed to me a lot. In many ways, I was able to connect with Jerrygirl and her actions.”
“You mean you encouraged it?” Tomboy asked, intruding.
“In a way, yes. I mean, if today all the people of sow-sow Empire decide to forgo the culture and go for something new, it would well please me. I don’t say it wouldn’t sadden me to see the long followed traditions die away. But looking at today’s conditions, I think it is time we relinquished those absurd ideas and strove to make our country a better one. That is why I had been studying Jerrygirl’s actions closely through secret means and finding out what impact it was having on the other people,” the Emperor explained. “That was when I suddenly got to know that she was abducted by you and taken away to Merryland. This sudden obtrusion brought all my plans to a halt and so here am I, to take Jerrygirl back to where she belongs!” the Emperor ended.
“I knew Jerrygirl had something special in her from the moment I set eyes on her but I never knew you were... er... experimenting with her.” Tomboy said asking pardon. “So, as I was saying, I had this strange urge to give Jerrygirl what she wanted. So I... I... I took the messenger’s robe, his horse and asked Jerrygirl to come to the palace posed as the messenger. I asked her to wait outside. Meanwhile, I changed and then came to her saying that I had already talked to the King- that is, you- regarding your freedom and that you had agreed. This was the sequence of events because of which you came under the impression that I had abducted Jerrygirl...”
“... So I am sorry I lied to you,” concluded Tomboy. After relating everything to the King, he had been asked to do the same to Jerrygirl. “You know what, Tomboy?” Jerrygirl asked, “I will never forget this lie of yours. It is the best lie you ever told! It helped me gain my freedom!”
Tomboy sighed in relief. The worst that he had feared was gone.
The Emperor of sow-sow Empire addressed Jerrygirl, “Which place do you choose finally?”
Jerrygirl answered, looking out of the window towards Merryland, “Though I’ll never forget the time I have spent in my own country- which will always be my native- I shall definitely choose the Land of The Smiling Faces.”    
 
    

         
    
     

December 8, 2012

The man who would not go down


The enemy’s marching ahead.
My country is foiled.
There is succor in the air tonight
And I am standing alone with a gun in my hand.
There is a sea of the dead;
There is water till my neck;
There is a bullet in my head,
And I refuse to go down.
Only my breath can be heard
And somewhere in the distance,
The sound of a bunch of boots marching around.
I wish they’d come near-
The dead only lessen my fear,
The pain is not an impediment
As I am here
With the name on my tongue,
With the spirit in my soul
Of a glory that long ago died
Which was by a lone soldier revived-
I want to see those faces here
And look into their eyes
To watch my flame of ambition ignite.
The enemy is marching away,
My armor is tearing away,
I have got no ally to say
That I am not going down.
Though the lights may be out
I can see my destiny lit
I can see the old single soldier
Fighting to the hilt.
And I can see me in his place,
Ready to die to save
A Cause that is withering away.
Yet, I am afraid of death
Because, like the old soldier’s,
I can’t see my Cause die with me.
As they remember the lone soldier,
Let them remember me,
As the man of steel who would not,
In the worst of storms, go down.
Let them remember me,
As the last soldier who went down,
And came back again.