Elise
To Ayona, on her birthday...
My grandpa used to say, “When you have nothing left in the world, you are at your best.” And I honored my grandpa very much.
My name is Kerb Waffer and I was the richest teenager of East Sussex when I was fourteen. My parents, Andrew and Carlisla were the top business people of the time but I knew only three things. First, they dealt in spices, second, the business was boring and third, money was a waste. My grandpa, Charlie lived in the vibrant Petersfield, in West Sussex while we were stinking in Brighton. I had no siblings, and I thanked God for that. The only thing in Brighton I liked a little was my school, Downs School. It was located outside the city in the suburbs but was not too good a school. “Why don’t you go study in London? Or join some school in the city. You have to travel so far everyday,” my mother used to say. To be honest, I didn’t like my parents. Both of them used to stay outdoors all the time and when they returned, they would act as if I was the only thing in the world they cared for. “Hypocrites! You both have double standards!” I once said this to them. They got all fired up and I received severe thrashing. It was at those moments when I used to remember Charlie and his independent life. “We have done everything you wanted. We have given you more than any parent can provide to the child. Yet why don’t you like us? What have we not given you?” my mother had asked. “Love, you don’t love me as much,” I replied. I don’t know if I said this on purpose or it came instinctively, but my mother hugged me after that. That night I remember crying, not because I had been rude, but because my mother had no answer.
The very next day, I left for Petersfield. I liked that place very much. "I can't go to Brighton. Petersfield has been my home for many years and I like the tranquility here," Charlie had said when my mother asked him to join us in Brighton. In fact, Charlie had a dislike for lavish living and used to make his own livelihood in Petersfield through his writings. "Believe in hard work because only that can bring you success," Charlie said to me once. I couldn't understand him then because I didn't know what hard work really was. To me, life was as easy as sipping coffee, riding my bicycle, surfing the internet and listening to music. I didn't know that I would learn it all so fast.
Set in the glorious countryside of the South Downs, Petersfield always fascinated me with its beauty and richness. I and Charlie used to go the weekly markets in the main square and hunt for fashionable objects. I admired the equestrain statue of King William III, that stood in the centre of the piazza, very much. I never missed the Petersfield Musical Festival. It would always fascinate me and Charlie. "Your parents are working hard for you. They can't be with you all the time but it doesn't mean they don't love you," Charlie explained to me. I could never get angry at Charlie. He was very endearing and understood me quite nicely. "I know they love me but there is a certain emptiness in me they cannot see. I have everything and yet I feel that soemthing is missing. Why don't they realise this? Why don't they apprehend my loneliness?" I asked. I felt bad when Charlie couldn't answer.
"Why do you still go to Downs School?" Charlie asked me as I was staring at a statuette in one of the stalls. "I like that place," I said. Charile eyed me and smiled. I asked him, "What is the matter?" "You can't hide anything from me. I know you since you were born. Now c'mon tell me who is the girl?" he asked suddenly. I wheeled around. He was smiling widely. I gulped and said, "Don't say it to my parents." "I wont. That is a promise," he said softly. I looked down, took a long breath and said "Elise. Elise McGain. She is so graceful and caring and pretty," "I know," Charlie said still having the wide smile on his lips. "You know?" I asked. "They are all the same," Charlie said, chuckling.
I still remember Elise's first day in school. She maintained a perfect gait as she walked into the classroom for the first time. For a moment, I could not take off my eyes from her figure. She walked slowly to an empty seat at the end of the room and settled herself. "Psst, she is a girl," Rick said poking me. I realized I had been looking at her for too long. "Oh! Yeah," I said and turned my gaze down, but the image had been engraved in my mind and I would always treasure it.
"Want a lift home?" I asked Elise after school got over. She stopped walking and glanced at my car. "Uh... Okay," she said. I smiled. She was too tired to deny. "So how was your first day?" I asked. "'Twas good. The teachers out there are truly nice," she said. "Oh yeah!" I said, sighing. She forced me to leave her some distance away from her house. "Bye," I said cheerfully. "Thank you. Bye!" she said and began ambling towards her home. "Are we friends now?" I shouted after her from the window. She halted, turned, gave a lovely smile and disappeared round the corner. I sank back in my seat.
After about five weeks, I asked Elise to go for an outing with some of our friends. She denied. "No, I am sorry. I am a bit busy this week," she said, and thus it went from week to week, until about three months had passed. By then, Elise had become quite frank with me. She told me of her interests and hobbies. She was a bit of an introvert but she could be a very pleasing company when she was lively. I had heard that she danced very well and had immediately entered a reverie where I was there holding her in my arms, a spotlight following our path, a cool wind pulling us together and such enchanting music being played that even the curtains danced with us. Her voice brought me back to my senses. "Yes, I will be coming today to the show!" she said. My heart skipped a beat.
I ran to my room beaming with joy. Later in the evening, when I was about to leave, my mother came into my room. She saw me smiling and said, "It is gonna be fun! Isn't it?" "Oh yay!" I said in my own dreams. After I spotted the uncertainty, I asked, "What is going to be fun?" "Hasn't father told you yet?" she asked, suddenly turning curious. "No," I said. "We are going to a party now, to the Pauls!" she said. "What?" my jaw hung open. The world came down on me. I cursed the Pauls, my parents, and then myself. "Yes, and we all will have so much fun! It has been so long since we spent time together," she said. My mouth opened to say 'it will be the first time that we will be together' but I held myself back. "I am not coming, mom. I have some projectwork left," I said. "What are you saying? You will have to come Kerb, you can't miss this one. Your father will be very angry," she said. "Get ready, we are leaving in ten minutes!" she said and hurried out of the room. "Argh!" I shouted, not caring whether mom heard it or not.
I forced myself into a corner of the car. "Say something. Why are you so quiet today?" my mother asked. "I hate gossipping, and I am not quiet today, this is what I am," I said, now looking at my mother. She put on a confused look. "Oh! How would you know? You being so busy and all. I am a total stranger to you," I said scornfully. I saw father bit his lip as I said that. Then I didn't speak anything until we reached the party spot.
The party had just begun. It was huge. A whole banquet hall had been booked. My parents occassionaly made me introduce myself, my school and my interests to thousands of unknown people. Soon afterwards, I spotted my cousin brother. "Mom, I am going with Dennis," I said pointing at my him. "Okay, take care," she said. "Hey, Dennis, I need to get out of here," I said to my stolid brother when we were out of earshot. "Why?" he asked. "I hate parties," I said. "No, you can't go," he said. I certainly had not planned to pass the time with such a bore. "Let us sit there," I said pointing to a row of chairs on one end of the hall. He walked so slowly that it seemed years had passed by the time we sat down. "Oh!" I groaned. "I have got a bad stomach. Wait here, I will come back soon," I said, got up and rushed towards the washroom. In a fraction of a second, I changed my course and there I was standing outside the hall hailing a taxi.
"Rush! We have ten minutes," I cried to the cabbie. "I will do my best, sir," said the huge man.
They were half through with the show when I reached. "Sit buddy," said Rick. "Oh it is so boring!" someone exclaimed. It was Elise! She was wearing a dull coloured pullover and a formal dress. "Let us go out, the weather is cool," I suggested. "Okay," she said. "Come, Rick," I said to him. "Oh no. No way, you both go. I want to watch the full thing," he said. Elise frowned.
The sun had already set. The air had turned orange by the innumerous lights that illuminated the city. The sky was clear and the quiet street enhanced the bliss of the night. Elise walked beside me at a slow pace. She seemed to be waiting for something to happen. "So the show was boring eh?" I asked. "Yeah, I am fed up of those cheesy love stories," she said. "I see," I said. We walked on for some time, then she said, "It was that same old story of the boy falling for the girl at first sight. The girl showing no interest in the boy who devises thousands of plans to impress her. Then the chick is abducted by some brutes," she gave such expressions that it amused me a lot. "'No, no, leave me. Save me Romeo!' Juliet cries out. 'Juliet!' cries Romeo and runs after the brutes. There is a deadly fight in which Romeo wins. 'Oh Romeo! You are my hero! You saved my life!' Juliet cries out and embraces Romeo," she finished. I was staring wide-eyed at Elise. "Hello, curtains down," she waved me back to conciousness. "Oh yeah. Good," I lost myself in a daydream and she walked briskly as if this was what she had anticipated would happen.
If, at that time, I knew the meaning of love, I would know that I was in love with Elise.
Months rolled by and our friendship cemented. Frequently, we used to go out in my car and I would buy ice-creams for all of us. We used to hang out around the riverside, spend time in the park, watch all kinds of movies and ate at the restaraunts. I even assisted Elise on a shopping spree and payed for everything. She was looking gloomy that day. Today, I have understood that it was because of me.
"What do I give her on her birthday?" I asked Rick. "A teddy?" he asked. "Pathetic!" "Chocolates?" "That is not a gift." "A schoolbag!" he cried. "Are you nuts?" "Well, hers is torn," he said. "I can't decide, something different," I mused. "Give her a party!" he said. "Yeah! A party! Thats what I will give her," I said and shot a glance at Rick.
"She is here!" Rick cried. The lights went off. The door opened. She closed it behind her. A single light turned on and illuminated her beautiful form. Another light flicked on and fell on a huge cake in the center of the hall. She walked to it and the light followed her. It seemed she was loving it all. She stopped and waited. There was a loud bang and down came colourful bits of paper. Lights were switched on and then there was mellifluous music. I came from behind, held her and danced. Everybody in the hall began dancing. Elise danced gracefully. The spotlight followed us all the way, and the cool air from the conditioner swayed the curtains as if they were also dancing with the music.
Two hours passed in a moment. We all danced, ate and sang together. Then, everybody rose to leave. "One last thing," I announced. "Here, from my side, I present to Elise, dancing shoes!" I said elegantly. Elise got up. I showed her the wonderful pair of shoes I had bought for her. They were wondrous. "Whoa! Thank you!" she said. Everybody applauded.
The group dismissed and I went out waiting for my car to come. Elise approached me. "Why are you doing all this for me?" she asked. I was taken aback. "For our friendship, why?" I asked. "This is too much. You gave the party, you arranged everything and I did, well, I did nothing," she said. "Wait, wait. You came, and that was a big thing for me," I said. "This is what I am asking- why? Why would you feel so good because I came? Why was it a big thing for you?" she stammered. I noticed she was upset. "I don't know. I really don't know," I whispered. “You have done too much for me, and all this is not by your own hard work and you know it. Your parents are working hard for you and I have no right to take away their labour,” she said. “That is wrong! No!” I said. “What is wrong? The fact that your parents love you, is that wrong? Or is the fact that you have done more than what is required for me wrong?” I really didn't know it at that time. I was blank. Elise dropped the shoes there and ran away, sobbing. She was running away from me, never to return back. If I had known she would never return, I would have never let her run. That day, when she went away, I lost everything. I had nothing left in the world. I was at my best.
“What do I do? She has cut off all connections with me. She doesn’t even speak to me!” I asked Charlie. “Look, son. Elise was a delicate girl. Whatever you did, whatever you said, she took it to her heart. She treasured your friendship, that is evident. She is a wise girl. She found that you had done the wrong thing and she pointed it out straightaway. Son, you have grown in a rich family. You don’t know the hardships faced by the common people. This is what Elise pointed out. She wanted you to paint your own image, create your own personality, make your own way through the woods and this is what you hesitated from,” he explained. “What should I do now?” I asked. “Work hard. Start your own life, live independently,” he said.
After I came back from Petersfield, I decided what I would do. I began working as an apprentice in my father’s assistant’s office. I learned a lot about his business. Slowly, I grew to like his business. Spices were spicy and ineteresting, after all. But in all this, I forgot Elise. She still kept her distance from me and I didn’t mind it.
“Son, you will have to go and look after your grandfather in Petersfield for some months. He is sick and he wants a helper. Work hard and do not let me down,” Andrew said to me one day. I moved immediately. Charlie was very sick. I helped him in his chores and did the household work but still found time to sit with some of father’s accounts. “You are working hard. Elise will love it. I think its time you go back to her,” Charlie said.
When I reached Brighton, Elise was gone. Rick said, “I tried to contact you but you were nowhere to be found. Elise’s parents moved to France and she went with them.” That was the blow I received, and it still hurts, somewhere below the thigh. Ah, no, that is the sign of me growing old. I have yet not found Elise, but her picture is engraved in my mind. I shall never forget her. Sometimes I think where I would have been had it not been for Elise, I shudder at the mere thought. It is terrible! Charlie was correct, only hard work could bring success. Well, losing Elise was not something I mourned over. It was a lesson for me that said- you have to work for everything. You may be asking that why didn’t I get Elise even after I worked hard. The answer is plain, Elise was far too good for a guy like me. If I wanted to have her, I would have to work many more times harder than how much I worked. I prayed, and I am still praying that she gets a guy who is very devoted and determined, not a sloppy one like me.
Truly, when you have nothing in the world, you are at the threshold of making everything yours!
